We currently sell many thousands of items per month no eBay and like any other retailer we receive our fair proportion of non-payment excuses for items after sale.

I thought I would jost down my top 5 favourite excuses, in no particular order

  1. “I am stuck in hospital for the day. It was very sudden. I will have to cancel the order”. Ok, so lets make sure I understand, you are in hospital suddenly, today, yet you have been able to procure the use of one of the nurse’s computers to respond to only the highest priority emails (like our pleasantly worded eBay non payment reminder), and you are never coming out, so you will have to cancel on the $32 sale? Right….
  2. “I have lost my job this week and I cannot pay”.  ($3.90 sale)
  3. “My 3 year old bid on this product, sorry it was not me. Can I cancel?”. No. Your 3 year old has great taste in guitars. We have included some pamphlets for you from some schools for the gifted. He has obviously developed well beyond his years.
  4. “I had a car accident and cannot pay for my order. I need to reverse it.” Must have been a big accident given the fishing lures only cost you $8.75!

So, according to the stats we receive from the public, 36% of children aged 2 to 4 years of age can log in to eBay and bid on items, each year approximately 20% of the population have car accidents so seriously costly and damaging that they cannot afford to buy simple hobby items (at all) and the hospitals are right – there are not enough beds. According to us, there are currently 23.5 seriously injured people in Australia waiting for each and every hospital bed. Most of these people still have time to email us about their orders though.*

* Please note, these statistics are estimates only, based solely on our non-paying bidder excuses…